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LavaNet Advertising Corner
Hi! Thanks for stopping by our Advertising
Corner. Since 1994, and our first radio ads on Radio Free Hawaii,
LavaNet has always strived to produce ads that are amusing, repeatable,
thought provoking and different. These have been heard on Radio
Free Hawaii, KPOI, Star 101.9, KPUA, B97 and KWXX on the Big Island,
and KONG on Kauai.
Our continuing "Adventures of LavaDude, Champion
of the Internet" radio series has been a major aspect of how we
keep work and play close together. We are not madison avenue types,
who focus group and water down our ads. We are a bunch of fun loving
"geeks", if you will and so we know that traditional, boring advertising
simply does not cut it for today's consumers, nor would it be fun
for us to produce. So what you hear, is really a sample of the exuberance
and happiness that is the LavaNet staff.
We write and voice these spots ourselves,
using the "non professional" talent available in our staff. At first
this was a matter of economics, but as time went by, though we could
choose to produce more traditionally, with "established" voices,
we found that we liked doing them. That the staff enjoyed this chance
to act out fun characters like the KungFu Tech Support Grrrls, The
Webinator, and LavaDude himself. Rather than take this away from
our eager staff, we have kept this self-writing, self production
as a LavaNet tradition.
The voices you hear are our technical support
people, system administrators, sales and billing people...even our
President! The concepts are kicked around by the staff and their
comments help define the final form of these ads, all of which are
meant to communicate one thing: that LavaNet is capable, fun loving
and easy to reach. Some address specific products, others announce
specials. Check back frequently since we are unearthing more and
more old material all the time. We hope you enjoy this archive of
LavaNet "un-advertising" through the years!
Thanks go to the following production
personnel:
- Shawn "Speedy" Lopez for Radio Free Hawaii
- Dara at KPOI
- Chris Chang at KXME
- Raphael Lowe of LavaNet for creating these
MP3s
Without whom all of this would have
been really, really hard. :)
The following files are in MP3
format. A MP3 compatible plug-in or player such as Quicktime is required
to listen to these files. Click on the titles to start downloading.
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Internet
Chef
Chef LavaDude of the LavaNet Clan of the
Golden Router takes on Challenger Cheapo Chimpulon of the Acme
Internet Malformium.
Voice Talents: Baron, Chad, Raph, Jenny
Recorded Dec 2000 at KXME Studios
Engineer: Chris Chang
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Monolith
Highspeed Interent as a powerful, mysterious
evolutionary tool, - with monkeys!
Voice Talents: Clifton, Pali, Rob, Baron, Kit
Recorded Jan 2001 at KXME Studios
Engineer: Chris Chang |
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AirLock
Supercomputer BAAL 2000 finds LavaNet DSL
a
breath of fresh air...and then some!
Voice Talents: Clifton, Baron, Pali
Recorded Jan 2001 at KXME Studios
Engineer: Chris Chang |
PowerChord
Powerchord;
No Waitlist
LavaNet celebrates the end of a waitlist,
and it
seems LavaDude just can't control himself with
excitement!
Voice Talents: Yuka, Pali
Recorded 2000 at KXME Studios
Engineer: Chris Chang |
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Babe
Magnet
A hapless fellow finds that "eau de
AOL" is not a
successful date accessory. LavaDude saves the
day!
Voice Talents: Pali, Toasty, Yuka, Jay, Naia
Recorded 1998 at KPOI Studios
Engineer: Dara |
Dating Game
Dating
Game 1; Dating Game
2
A careful, innocent Internet user
is looking for a fast connection that suits her needs. Listen
as she grills them all and finds LavaNet to be "just right!"
Voice Talents: Clifton, Darraghlynn, Andy,
Baron, Pali
Recorded 1999 at KPOI Studios
Engineer: Dara |
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Hip
Cats
Diggin' the groovacious vibe of bad ass
Internet
goodness - with cats and crustaceans. Yes, we
actually get paid for doing this!
Voice Talents: Andy, Kit
Recorded 1998 at KPOI Studios
Engineer: Dara |
Webinator
1-3
Webinator 2000; Smackdown;
WWW Smackdown
LavaDude has a new foe - the WwwwwweBINATOR!
Luring innocent web sites
onto crappy networks. Can he be stopped? Proof
positive that LavaDude cares for all forms of Internet communications,
not just modems and DSL...but web services as well. A rare appearance
by LavaDude's spiritual guide, the Dalai Lava.
Voice Talents: Clifton, Pali, Baron, Kit, Squiddy
Delight, Toasty
Recorded 2000 at KXME Studios
Engineer: Chris |
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Clams
Have Legs
The benefits of being online are numerous
- and
different for everyone. A subliminal rant confirms that not
every Internet user has "pedestrian" opinions.
Voice Talents: Kit, Clifton
Recorded 1997 at Radio Free Hawaii
Engineer: Speedy |
Diabolical
Dust Demons
LavaDude comes to LavaNet one fine morning
to
find a minion of his greatest adversary scraping
paint off the building! Why? Listen in for a twisted
tale of "goodness by proxy" involving a dust-
dabbling denzen of the dark circus.
Voice Talents: Pali, Baron, Kit, Clifton
Recorded 1999 at KPOI Studios
Engineer: Dara |
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Julia
Child's Evil Clone
The Planet Warthogia is threatened by an
evil clone of the beloved, asthmatic TV cooking star! Can LavaDude
save the day or will he drown in the chardonnay-soaked clutches
of EVIL?!
Voice Talents: Jello, Pali, Clifton, Kit
Recorded 1999 at KPOI Studios
Engineer: Dara |
Lost World
A spot we produced to promote a special
display of "jurassic technology" at the Collector's
Expo in 1998.
Voice Talents: Toasty, Clifton
Recorded 1998 at KPOI Studios
Engineer: Dara |
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Fantasy
Love Barge Atoll
A disillusioned Internet user finds that
with LavaNet's great service, "the hills are alive with
the sound of modems". A walk on LavaDude's sensitive side
Voice Talents: Jello, Kit, Pali, Clifton
Recorded 1997 at KPOI Studios
Engineer: Dara |
MeepMeep
LavaDude dines with his favorite blue bird
- who's all ears about new Digital Subscriber Line service!
A bottle of electrons, some bird seed, and thou...
Voice Talents: Clifton, Pali, Baron
Recorded 1999 at KPOI Studios
Engineer: Dara |
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Minty
Fresh
A scratch and sniff testimonial to the
wonders of
Digital Subscriber line, featuring a raging sysadmin (a.k.a.
BOFH :)
Voice Talents: Clifton, Sponger, Pali
Recorded 1999 at KXME Studios
Engineer: Chris |
Modem
Obedience School
Turning your modem from an annoying,
uncooperative beast into "mother's precious baby"
is what LavaNet is all about. Tough love, the Lava- way!
Voice Talents: Clifton, Kit, Big Bertha the
modem
Recorded 1998 at KPOI Studios
Engineer: Dara |
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Now
on Kauai
LavaDude and his sidekick kick back on
a
gorgeous beach on Kauai, relaxing after the
arduous installation of LavaNet modems in Lihue!
Voice Talents: Toasty, Pali, Kit
Recorded 1997 at KPOI Studios
Engineer: Dara
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Sweet
Little Modem
A modem so depressed it can barely squeal!
LavaDude saves the day with good old fashioned network quality.
Big air kisses ensue.
Voice Talents: Clifton, Pali, Toasty
Recorded 1999 at KXME
Engineer: Chris |
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X-mas
Spot
For our holiday ad, a-rhyming we go; Because
Dr. Seuss is our favorite hero; We love to bring joy to Internet
fans; And as you can see, we are mostly big hams.
Voice Talents: Clifton, Kit
Recorded 1997 at KPOI
Engineer: Dara |
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