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LavaNet Advertising Corner

Hi! Thanks for stopping by our Advertising Corner. Since 1994, and our first radio ads on Radio Free Hawaii, LavaNet has always strived to produce ads that are amusing, repeatable, thought provoking and different. These have been heard on Radio Free Hawaii, KPOI, Star 101.9, KPUA, B97 and KWXX on the Big Island, and KONG on Kauai.

Our continuing "Adventures of LavaDude, Champion of the Internet" radio series has been a major aspect of how we keep work and play close together. We are not madison avenue types, who focus group and water down our ads. We are a bunch of fun loving "geeks", if you will and so we know that traditional, boring advertising simply does not cut it for today's consumers, nor would it be fun for us to produce. So what you hear, is really a sample of the exuberance and happiness that is the LavaNet staff.

We write and voice these spots ourselves, using the "non professional" talent available in our staff. At first this was a matter of economics, but as time went by, though we could choose to produce more traditionally, with "established" voices, we found that we liked doing them. That the staff enjoyed this chance to act out fun characters like the KungFu Tech Support Grrrls, The Webinator, and LavaDude himself. Rather than take this away from our eager staff, we have kept this self-writing, self production as a LavaNet tradition.

The voices you hear are our technical support people, system administrators, sales and billing people...even our President! The concepts are kicked around by the staff and their comments help define the final form of these ads, all of which are meant to communicate one thing: that LavaNet is capable, fun loving and easy to reach. Some address specific products, others announce specials. Check back frequently since we are unearthing more and more old material all the time. We hope you enjoy this archive of LavaNet "un-advertising" through the years!

Thanks go to the following production personnel:
Shawn "Speedy" Lopez for Radio Free Hawaii
Dara at KPOI
Chris Chang at KXME
Raphael Lowe of LavaNet for creating these MP3s
Without whom all of this would have been really, really hard. :)
The following files are in MP3 format. A MP3 compatible plug-in or player such as Quicktime is required to listen to these files. Click on the titles to start downloading.

 

  Internet Chef
Chef LavaDude of the LavaNet Clan of the Golden Router takes on Challenger Cheapo Chimpulon of the Acme Internet Malformium.

Voice Talents: Baron, Chad, Raph, Jenny
Recorded Dec 2000 at KXME Studios

Engineer:
Chris Chang
  Monolith
Highspeed Interent as a powerful, mysterious
evolutionary tool, - with monkeys!

Voice Talents: Clifton, Pali, Rob, Baron, Kit
Recorded Jan 2001 at KXME Studios

Engineer:
Chris Chang
 
   
AirLock
Supercomputer BAAL 2000 finds LavaNet DSL a
breath of fresh air...and then some!

Voice Talents: Clifton, Baron, Pali
Recorded Jan 2001 at KXME Studios

Engineer:
Chris Chang 

PowerChord
Powerchord; No Waitlist
LavaNet celebrates the end of a waitlist, and it
seems LavaDude just can't control himself with
excitement!

Voice Talents: Yuka, Pali
Recorded 2000 at KXME Studios

Engineer:
Chris Chang

   
Babe Magnet
A hapless fellow finds that "eau de AOL" is not a
successful date accessory. LavaDude saves the
day!

Voice Talents: Pali, Toasty, Yuka, Jay, Naia
Recorded 1998 at KPOI Studios

Engineer:
Dara  
Dating Game
Dating Game 1; Dating Game 2
A careful, innocent Internet user is looking for a fast connection that suits her needs. Listen as she grills them all and finds LavaNet to be "just right!"

Voice Talents: Clifton, Darraghlynn, Andy, Baron, Pali
Recorded 1999 at KPOI Studios

Engineer:
Dara  
   
Hip Cats
Diggin' the groovacious vibe of bad ass Internet
goodness - with cats and crustaceans. Yes, we
actually get paid for doing this!

Voice Talents:
Andy, Kit
Recorded 1998 at KPOI Studios

Engineer:
Dara 
Webinator 1-3
Webinator 2000; Smackdown;
WWW Smackdown

LavaDude has a new foe - the WwwwwweBINATOR! Luring innocent web sites onto crappy networks. Can he be stopped? Proof positive that LavaDude cares for all forms of Internet communications, not just modems and DSL...but web services as well. A rare appearance by LavaDude's spiritual guide, the Dalai Lava.

Voice Talents:
Clifton, Pali, Baron, Kit, Squiddy
Delight, Toasty
Recorded 2000 at KXME Studios

Engineer:
Chris  
   
Clams Have Legs
The benefits of being online are numerous - and
different for everyone. A subliminal rant confirms that not every Internet user has "pedestrian" opinions.

Voice Talents:
Kit, Clifton
Recorded 1997 at Radio Free Hawaii

Engineer:
Speedy 
Diabolical Dust Demons
LavaDude comes to LavaNet one fine morning to
find a minion of his greatest adversary scraping
paint off the building! Why? Listen in for a twisted
tale of "goodness by proxy" involving a dust-
dabbling denzen of the dark circus.

Voice Talents:
Pali, Baron, Kit, Clifton
Recorded 1999 at KPOI Studios

Engineer:
Dara 
   
Julia Child's Evil Clone
The Planet Warthogia is threatened by an evil clone of the beloved, asthmatic TV cooking star! Can LavaDude save the day or will he drown in the chardonnay-soaked clutches of EVIL?!

Voice Talents:
Jello, Pali, Clifton, Kit
Recorded 1999 at KPOI Studios

Engineer:
Dara 
Lost World
A spot we produced to promote a special display of "jurassic technology" at the Collector's Expo in 1998.

Voice Talents: Toasty, Clifton
Recorded 1998 at KPOI Studios

Engineer:
Dara
   
Fantasy Love Barge Atoll
A disillusioned Internet user finds that with LavaNet's great service, "the hills are alive with the sound of modems". A walk on LavaDude's sensitive side

Voice Talents:
Jello, Kit, Pali, Clifton
Recorded 1997 at KPOI Studios

Engineer:
Dara
MeepMeep
LavaDude dines with his favorite blue bird - who's all ears about new Digital Subscriber Line service! A bottle of electrons, some bird seed, and thou...

Voice Talents:
Clifton, Pali, Baron
Recorded 1999 at KPOI Studios

Engineer:
Dara
   
Minty Fresh
A scratch and sniff testimonial to the wonders of
Digital Subscriber line, featuring a raging sysadmin (a.k.a. BOFH :)

Voice Talents: Clifton, Sponger, Pali
Recorded 1999 at KXME Studios

Engineer:
Chris

Modem Obedience School
Turning your modem from an annoying,
uncooperative beast into "mother's precious baby" is what LavaNet is all about. Tough love, the Lava- way!

Voice Talents: Clifton, Kit, Big Bertha the modem
Recorded 1998 at KPOI Studios

Engineer:
Dara

   
Now on Kauai
LavaDude and his sidekick kick back on a
gorgeous beach on Kauai, relaxing after the
arduous installation of LavaNet modems in Lihue!

Voice Talents: Toasty, Pali, Kit
Recorded 1997 at KPOI Studios

Engineer:
Dara
Sweet Little Modem
A modem so depressed it can barely squeal!
LavaDude saves the day with good old fashioned network quality. Big air kisses ensue.

Voice Talents:
Clifton, Pali, Toasty
Recorded 1999 at KXME

Engineer:
Chris
 
X-mas Spot
For our holiday ad, a-rhyming we go; Because Dr. Seuss is our favorite hero; We love to bring joy to Internet fans; And as you can see, we are mostly big hams.

Voice Talents: Clifton, Kit
Recorded 1997 at KPOI

Engineer:
Dara